Marauders' Notations
by FallenMystery
Summary: Just your average day with the Marauders. You know, evil mutant bunnies, Sirius eating bezoars, the whole deal. Rated for language. Oneshot


Disclaimer: don't bother. I didn't do it.

A/N: kay, so it's 2:11 a.m., and I can't sleep. So I'm sitting here at my computer writing… this. I have NO idea what it's going to be. I would be working on 'Slytherin Beauty', but I've run out of inspiration for the moment. I mean, I tried to write the next chappie, and wound up killing Lily, SO, that's obviously NOT going to work, is it?

Marauders' Notes 

PoTiOnS

Padfoot: Stop glaring at me, Prongs! Prongs: I CAN'T believe you just did that! Moony: Really, Padfoot, even for you… 

Padfoot: It's not like I can help it! I mean, the pure malice in those eyes! The hate! The anger! The NEED to dominate the world!

Prongs: It was a RABBIT! Padfoot: They're EVIL! 

Moony: Just because of that book…

Prongs: You lit the friggin rabbit on FIRE! Padfoot: It deserved it! Prongs: In front of EVANS! Padfoot: Oh, it's not that bad! She looked like she was HAPPY I set the bloody rabbit on fire… Moony: Then you blamed it on him… Padfoot:sniggers: Oh, yeah… I think she was more upset about me blaming Prongs for hexing those Slytherins… Prongs: I'm going to have a hand print on my face forever! Padfoot: And worship it every day… 

Moony: She's looking at you, Prongs.

Prongs: What:jumps up:makes complete fool of himself: 

Evans:looks up to see Prongs looking at her: SOD OFF!

Prongs:smacks Moony: Moony:high-fives Padfoot: Padfoot: That makes it what… seven times today? 

Prongs:glares evilly: Bunny killer.

Padfoot: THEY'RE EVIL! They have beady little red eyes! And they use their ears as walkie-talkies! And—

Prongs: What's a walkie-talkie? 

Padfoot: No idea. But didn't it sound cool? Anyway, have you SEEN their insanely long and pointy teeth? They sharpen them when no one's looking, I swear!

Moony: Padfoot? Padfoot: Yeah? 

Moony: You're deranged.

Padfoot: Thank you. Wanna join my club against rabbits? Moony: … 

Padfoot: It's called 'S.T.A.B.' or Society To Assassinate Bunnies.

Moony: Prongs is drooling again.

Prongs: Am not:wipes drool off of face:continues to stare at Evans: 

Padfoot: If you stare at her long enough, maybe she'll slap you again.

Prongs:glares: 

Evans: do you guys have an extra bezoar?

Prongs: Unnnnnnnnnnnng…….

Evans: Well:glares at Prongs: Padfoot:laughs at Prongs: Moony: Yes… Padfoot, where's the extra bezoar? 

Padfoot: Oops.

Moony: Oops what? Padfoot: Oops, it's really close to lunch… 

Moony: That's disgusting.

Evans: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Prongs: Unnnnnnnnnng……… 

Padfoot: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Moony:rolls eyes: You've eaten worse before.

Padfoot: Like what? 

Moony: Remember when Prongs dared you to eat that green thing that had been growing under Wormtail's bed for two months?

Padfoot: Yeah, but that didn't come from the stomach of a goat… Moony: No one KNOWS where it came from… Prongs:seemingly over his case of 'Unnnnngs': What's worse, is he LIKED it! Padfoot:shrugs: It wasn't bad… 

Moony: You're growing it under your bed now, aren't you?

Padfoot: Maybe.

Moony and Prongs:shudder:

Padfoot: You know what else is evil? BUTTERFLIES!

Evans: YES! Butterflies are evil! One attempted to MURDER me once! But they're not as bad as rabbits… I SWEAR this rabbit came after me with a steak knife…

Padfoot: Yeah! Regulus's pet rabbit stole my wand and hexed me this one time!

Evans and Padfoot:continue to talk about demonic rabbits and butterflies:

Prongs: Unnnnnnnnnnnng… :drools:

Moony: Ummmmmmmmm, ya know, everyone else left…

Padfoot:tosses S.T.A.B. pin to Evans:runs to Great Hall:

TrAnSfIgUrAtIoN

Prongs: Stop humming, Padfoot.

Padfoot: Okay. It's a small world after all…

Moony: Silencio.

Prongs: Thank you, Moony.

Moony: Prongs, Evans is behind you.

Prongs: Not going to fall for it this time, Moony. :smug look:

Moony: No, really, she's standing behind you. Looks like she wants your attention.

Prongs: Not listening.

Moony: Hi Lily.

Prongs:goes pale:turns around:

Moony:does counter-curse for Silencio:

Prongs:turns back around: DAMMIT!

Padfoot:high fives Moony:

McGonagall: Today, we will be doing more animal transfiguration. Turning chairs into rabbits.

Evans and Padfoot: NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

McGonagall:continues talking:

Evans and Padfoot:hyperventilate:

Padfoot: But Minnie! Rabbits are PURE EVIL!

Evans: Really, professor, I must protest…

McGonagall:continues talking: Now, proceed

Evans:exchanges glance with Padfoot:

Padfoot:gulps:half-heartedly attempts to turn his chair into a rabbit:

Evans:pretends to look like she's trying to turn a chair into a rabbit:

Prongs:turns chair into red-eyed rabbit:

Evans and Padfoot:scream:dive behind McGonagall's desk:

McGonagall: Very good, Potter. Evans, Black, return to your seats!

Evans and Padfoot:glare at McGonagall:

McGonagall: NOW.

Padfoot: Only if you make him turn that murderer back into a chair.

McGonagall:rolls eyes: Potter, turn your rabbit back into a chair.

Prongs:turns rabbit back into chair:

Evans and Padfoot:sigh in relief:return to desks:

Padfoot:tries to turn chair into rabbit: Really, Prongs, how COULD you?

Moony: I can't believe you're terrified of rabbits to that extent.

Padfoot:glares:waves wand:turns chair into Evil Mutant Bunny:screams:

Evans:sees Padfoot's Evil Mutant Bunny:screams louder, if possible:

Both:jump into open cabinet:

Evil Mutant Bunny:green fur, red eyes, dagger-like teeth, insanely long and whip-like tongue, walkie-talkie ears, aka, the TRUE form of rabbits: I am here to dominate the human race and take over the world!

Padfoot: I knew it!

Evans:hyperventilates:

Rest of the class:stares, open-mouthed:

Evil Mutant Bunny:breathes fire:

Rest of class:run for cover:

Evil Mutant Bunny:villainous laughter:

McGonagall:tries to turn Evil Mutant Bunny back into chair:

Evil Mutant Bunny:lights McGonagall's hat on fire:

McGonagall: Bad Evil Mutant Bunny, bad!

Padfoot: Be careful Minnie!

Evil Mutant Bunny: Sod off Black!

Padfoot: It knows my name!

Evans: I have a feeling we're passing our mortal fear of rabbits on to the rest of the class :returns to hyperventilating:

Prongs: I can't believe you were right, Padfoot!

McGonagall: DIE you Evil Mutant Bunny!

Evil Mutant Bunny: BITCH! You just messed up my HAIR:breathes more fire:

Rest of the class: Oh my god we're gonna DIE!

Padfoot: I'm too pretty to die!

Padfoot's fanclub: Heck yes!

Moony: This is not happening. :looks around: Oh god, I'm stuck under a table with some fan club… What's on their jackets? OH GOD, NO!

Padfoot: Whassamatta Moony?

Moony: Besides the obvious? I'm stuck under a table with… MY fan club!

Padfoot: Sucks to be you.

Moony's fanclub:sing-songy voices: Oh, Remus…

Moony:is smothered by crazed girls while McGonagall continues to battle the Evil Mutant Bunny:

Prongs: I'll miss him, truly I will…

Padfoot: Haha!

Prongs: What could POSSIBLY be funny right now? Our teacher is fighting an Evil Mutant Bunny and we might never see Moony again!

Padfoot:snickers: Look around, Prongsie.

Prongs:looks around:sees crazed girls all around him with leather jackets that say 'James Potter Fanclub': OH. DEAR. GOD! Padfoot! Save me!

Padfoot: I'm sorry, Prongs. There's only enough room for me and the love of your life in this cabinet. Tough luck.

Prongs' fanclub:smothers Prongs:

Padfoot: I'll miss him, too. Damn, now all I've got is Wormtail. And he doesn't even HAVE Transfig with us…

Evans: We're all going to die!

Padfoot: Probably. Snog me before we go?

Evans: I'm not that far gone… yet.

Padfoot: Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Evans: Wonder where YOUR fanclub is.

Padfoot: Probably snogging yours under a table.

Evans: Too true, too true. Wonder how McGonagall's doing. :opens cupboard slightly:sees that McGonagall has fled for her life, and Evil Mutant Bunny is laughing maniacally while heading towards their cabinet: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Padfoot: What?

Evans: McGonagall's deserted us, and the Evil Mutant Bunny is headed towards OUR cabinet!

Padfoot: You not serious.

Evans: No, that would be you.

Padfoot: Right…

Evans: We're gonna die! Potter! Save me! 

Prongs:is being smothered by his fanclub:

Evans: Oh god, our only hope… Evil Mutant Bunny: Muahahahaha! You are at my mercy! 

Random girl: Anyone know a good charm for an Evil Mutant Bunny?

Rest of the Class: If we did, would we BE under these tables?

Random Girl: It was worth a shot… 

Prongs:attempts to throw off fanclub:

Moony:is still being smothered: 78 bottles of firewhiskey on the wall, 78 bottles of firewhiskey, take one down, pass it around…

Evil Mutant Bunny: Come out come out where ever you are, my little bunnyphobics… 

Padfoot: Aw, shit, it's toying with us. In horror movies they ALWAYS fck with the people who are murdered in the goriest ways…

Evans: Thanks Black, I REALLY needed that just now.

Harry: EXPECTO PATRONUM!! Oh, shit, wrong era… Padfoot: Ya know, Lils, he kinda looks like Prongs… only with your eyes… 

Evans:shudders: Ew.

Harry: OMG, MUM! DAD! 

Prongs: …

Evans: … Harry: Oh, right, I'll just be… leaving, now… Evil Mutant Bunny: OH little bunnyphobics… 

Harry: Ooh, I KNEW I had a purpose! See, Mu… Lily, … James, you're gonna create this spell… later… ummmmmmm… oh, right! Evilus Mutante Bunnius PETUNIUS!

Evil Mutant Bunny:sprouts petunias: OMG, I'M SPROUTING PETUNIAS:bursts into flame: OMG, I'M BURSTING INTO FLAME:runs out crying:

Harry: Ummm… yeah, I was NEVER here. Got that? 

Padfoot:is writing on piece of parchment: Kid that looks like Prongs, only with Evans' eyes was NEVER here… got it!

Prongs: Hey, Evans, ya know what this means? Evans: Oh god, not this again… Prongs: Actually, I was gonna say we might wanna record that spell… Evans: Oh, in that case… Moony:has successfully gotten away from fanclub: Hey Padfoot, don't you think that that kid looked like Prongs and Lily? Padfoot: Yeah… I can just see it now… 

Evans:is yelling at Prongs: No! It was Mutante, not Mootante!

Prongs: It was bloody Mootante! 

Padfoot: It's like they were made for each other.

Moony: Yep. Hey, Jo, thanks for making them for each other! 

JK: No prob Moony, any time.

Padfoot: I can just see all the little Prongsies and Lilies… And Prongs and Lily will grow old together and I'll spoil all there kids rotten, and… 

JK: Wow, I kinda hate to have to tell him that Harry's their only kid 'cos they die young and he's gonna spend most of his life in Azkaban for it…

Padfoot: What was that, Jo? 

JK: Nothing, nothing at all…


End file.
